From Retail to Red Carpet with Amanda Castrillo

[00:00:00] is a web series and podcast created by Temple of Geek. At the core of the project is the importance of telling the stories of women who have found inspiration, growth and power through fandom. My name is Jenna Wrenn, I'm the host of the Portrait of a Fangirl Podcast and today I am here with Amanda Castrillo. How are you Amanda?

[00:00:27] Good, how are you?

[00:00:29] I'm doing great. I'm very excited for today's conversation.

[00:00:32] Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited too. I love talking about anything like Fangirl, fandom, nerdy behavior.

[00:00:39] So it's a match made in heaven then. Can you just tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do?

[00:00:46] So yeah, my name is Amanda. I am a content creator, influencer, social producer. I mainly talk about media, commentary, comedy, sometimes just whatever is also going on at the moment.

[00:00:56] So whatever the vibe is, my username is Amanda's Viban so I just kind of fold really true to that. And yeah, I would consider a Fangirl in my life and I've looked like movies, TV shows, media all my life.

[00:01:11] That's awesome. We always ask our guests what they view the term Fangirl, how they view the term Fangirl and what does being a Fangirl mean to you?

[00:01:21] So what is your experience with that?

[00:01:23] I honestly love the term Fangirl. It's like an identifier. It kind of is an all-encompassing thing.

[00:01:29] It's like, oh, you probably know what you're in for when somebody's like, oh, I'm a Fangirl, like a self-proclaimed Fangirl.

[00:01:35] And it just is kind of like to me at least, I've met some of my best friends through fandom and through bonding over loving the same TV shows and loving the same butts and loving the same movies.

[00:01:46] And it just is kind of like seeing a person in the wild wearing the same shirt as you. It's like, oh my god, like, when's like, I love the term. I think it's great.

[00:01:54] Yeah, it creates almost like a connection, especially if you're an extrovert.

[00:01:59] Definitely.

[00:02:00] And you just talk to people.

[00:02:01] And you can just get into like a 30 minute long conversation about like the thing you're both thinking out about. Like, it's nice.

[00:02:08] It's very nice. What was the first moment you really found yourself Fangirling over something?

[00:02:13] Definitely. I'm a massive avatar nerd. I love Avatar of the Last Airbender. And when that show first came out in like 2005, 19 years, Jesus, I just was fully immersed in it.

[00:02:24] And I was like, this is awesome. I want to make stuff like this. I want to talk about stuff like this. I want to do stuff like this all the time.

[00:02:32] And so I just got really immersed into that. And it's kind of like being rolled into like different book banners, like the Hunger Games and differently, just liking different movies and just kind of immersing myself within like

[00:02:44] movies, TV shows and just overall media in general.

[00:02:49] Right. So Avatar of the Last Airbender really is kind of what put you on the path that got you to where you are today.

[00:02:56] Well, and only enough in a lot of aspects, yes. Because I just kind of loved everything about it. I just don't know why I like gravitated to it so much. I watched it when it first came out.

[00:03:05] And it was just so like rich in like storytelling and like characterization and just like magic and so many cool things go like, oh, this is like awesome.

[00:03:16] Like why do I want to like do math and I can do that? Like it was just like, I kind of fell in love with like the art of storytelling and the art of like just animation.

[00:03:26] And it influenced so much. I went into media arts animation when I went to college because of that series and next series like it.

[00:03:34] So it's been a thing that kind of like, it gave me the inspiration to do like everything I've ever wanted to basically.

[00:03:42] That's fantastic. And it's, it is kind of a shame that it was marketed as a kids show because I personally think it is some of the best writing in a series that you're going to find out there.

[00:03:53] And I think too, like especially with like animation people automatically kind of look at it and they're like, oh, it's a juvenile thing or unless you ask me like maybe family guy where you're like, oh wait, it's either juvenile or it's wrong.

[00:04:03] There's no in between. And it's like, it's a medium. It's just a way to tell a story. It's not necessarily indicative of like what age group it's for.

[00:04:13] And even if it is targeted toward like a younger demographic, like I still think it's worse telling young people good stories, you know, like I think it's so worth like not dumbing things down and trusting your audience and just making something really cool that like everyone from every demographic can enjoy.

[00:04:32] Right. And I've actually seen your content recently with the live action avatar and I just love all the skits you do in your reviews. How did you feel seeing now something you've loved as a child brought to life in real life?

[00:04:46] It's, I always said I'm like, I am a person of those series where I like I wish I could watch it for the first time again. And like I felt like I could do that like when I saw the live action come out like do I have a lot of opinions on it absolutely.

[00:04:59] Do I feel like certain ways about certain things? Yes, I have my opinions. But it was still kind of like that nostalgia like, oh my God, I get to watch it for the first time. And it was really cool that I got to go to the career.

[00:05:11] And so it was like watching it in like the best way possible. And so it's, it was kind of like a full circle moment where I'm like, Oh my God, like this is really happening. I think I would have like my younger self would have definitely geeked out finding out what I was able to do.

[00:05:28] That's so cool. I can only imagine especially when it's something that has been it was a big part of your childhood and now it's back in your adult life. That's fantastic.

[00:05:37] Yeah, and I've been lucky enough to like work with some of the cast of Avatar like Dante Janet like they've been great. So like, because I also work on like my work in social media.

[00:05:48] It's just been really cool to like kind of work with the people and like work around the people that made the things that I love so much. And like are basically the reason why I'm doing all this in the first place. So it was a really cool experience.

[00:06:05] I'm so happy that you got that. That's just, it's very touching to imagine.

[00:06:10] Thank you.

[00:06:12] So you mentioned you were at the premiere and I know you are a regular guest at a lot of red carpet events. Do you remember your first high profile event?

[00:06:21] I do my very first ever red carpet premiere was Spider-Man No Way Home, which is a crazy one to have right like it's a big one first experience and it was during like the first year of COVID like 2021 so we were still like masked up and like there was still protocols

[00:06:40] I was still like swabbing my nose for things like it was just like it was the first time I'd ever done anything like that, while also like the most nuts thing in the world was also going on.

[00:06:51] So like I never thought that I would be like doing that kind of stuff while also like again masked up just out of quarantine just out of doing all these things. And it was insane.

[00:07:03] I just kind of remember getting the invitation. I was actually on the way to a smaller event for a screening and I got that email for it and I literally screamed and my husband was like is everything okay? Are you good?

[00:07:17] And I was like, yeah, we're going to Spider-Man. Like it was so it was like it was like Christmas. It was so cool.

[00:07:25] And then he probably screamed a little bit too when he found out it was Spider-Man right?

[00:07:28] Like really? Like, are you serious? And I was like, yeah, like, I'm dead serious. Like it was just one of those things where it's like I would I am a very optimistic person. So in my head, I was like, no, I really want to go like I've never been to like any kind of event like this.

[00:07:45] But this is going to be my first one. I feel it in my bones. And then it was and I was like, oh, oh, I would actually happened. Okay, cool. We're doing this. And it was great. Like I still it's a core memory.

[00:07:59] Yeah, it doesn't get much bigger than Marvel or Spider-Man.

[00:08:03] Yeah, I was like that because it was like, I know that that movie like broke the internet. People were like just excited to go back out again. Like it basically cleaned out movie theaters. There was like wait times that were astronomical.

[00:08:15] Like it was a thing and it was just a really big privilege and also like a really like big like holy crap. Like I'm here in the same room as like the people that made like this whole big thing.

[00:08:27] And it was just it was great. It was it was like, oh, oh, like I'm actually here like so. Yeah.

[00:08:35] What did you do? You really feel nerves or excitement? Like what went out that night?

[00:08:40] I think excitement overall went out. I overthink a lot. I definitely was like, oh my God, like what if we get flat tire? What if my dress friends? I was just thinking about everything.

[00:08:52] I had a piece of hair that was slightly longer than the rest of my hair. My husband cut it in the parking lot. It was it. Yeah, it was just a lot of things were happening.

[00:09:02] And so I just kind of breathed. I was just like, okay, it's fine. Like just have a good time, have fun and watch the movie. And like it just have a good time.

[00:09:16] So eventually just excitement went out. And I was just very grateful to be there and very happy that I was able to kind of consume it in a way that I've never consumed media before, you know, like such a big scale.

[00:09:32] Right. Does any particular event stick out in mind to you?

[00:09:37] I think the most fun one, I would say like that sticks out is the bullet train premiere. That was really fun. The one with like Brad Pitt and Air Taylor Johnson, the movie where he's like literally on bullet train.

[00:09:51] That event was so cool because they have the carpet on a blue paint carpet and they had set it up like a Japanese street with like different vending machines and like papers and just a whole bunch of stuff.

[00:10:05] And then on the other side of the carpet, they had set up a bullet train like this area, like a seated area that was modeled to look like a bullet train.

[00:10:14] And then there was a bar and then you could go up to that area and just kind of like watch what was going on in the carpet from the tables and the chairs from the bullet train.

[00:10:23] And it was really like, it was just like created all like, oh, okay. Like, and then they had gift bags at the seats and they had Japanese candy in them.

[00:10:33] So I was like free candy. Okay.

[00:10:34] Okay, like I love that one. And then also I think Queen Charlotte. I'm like a massive Grey's Anatomy fan and I just like met so many people from Grey's Anatomy at that one.

[00:10:46] And I was like, oh my God. And then I also got to wear a ball gown for that one. So that was really, really fun too. And I felt wow.

[00:10:53] That's that's so much fun. I can imagine like you get completely dressed up and you're just meeting these people again that you are fangirling over.

[00:11:01] It's great. Like it's super nice. I've had like really good experiences. Nowadays, I still get like anxiety and nerves, especially before like going traffic is the nightmare for me.

[00:11:13] And I just try to like keep it as cool as possible internally even though I'm just like, okay, we're doing this and then all I have to do is get through it and then I can just sit down and I can watch a movie and we're good.

[00:11:24] And I just like right hyped myself up so I just couldn't chill.

[00:11:29] Right. And it's such a unique experience that, you know, I'm sure you're treasuring every one you get to go to.

[00:11:36] Yeah, definitely. It's really cool. I tell my parents every time I'm like, oh, I'm going to this thing and it's like it's nice.

[00:11:43] It's very nice. So the red carpet seems so much fun from what you're saying but I'm sure it really can't be easy.

[00:11:49] You're addressing the part. You're traveling to events and you're also maintaining a day job at the same time.

[00:11:55] So what are the upsides and the downsides of this?

[00:11:58] I think the upside is obviously like I get to dress up and watch movies for a living. Like that's so fun. That's so cool.

[00:12:06] Like my hardest day doing this is better than doing literally anything else I've had to do for a living.

[00:12:10] So like I've worked in retail for like the majority of my adult life before I started doing this.

[00:12:16] And so like I had to like fold clothes and hear a bunch of nonsense that you probably don't feel like hearing when you're like 19, you know?

[00:12:25] But like, yeah, I get to dress up. I get to watch movies. I get to watch movies early and I get to just kind of step out in a way that like I don't typically do.

[00:12:36] But for example, if it's Bridgerton, I can wear a ball gown today. You know what I mean? Like it's just I think about it like that.

[00:12:43] The downside definitely again to LA traffic is the nightmare and I used to actually live quite far away.

[00:12:51] So sometimes my commute to be two and a half hours. So I'd be sitting there in a full on get up with like a gown or like heels or like something and I'd just be like driving like a crazy person in the most uncomfortable outfit.

[00:13:06] At full B being like and then I have to drive right back unless I get a hotel. Like that was the worst.

[00:13:12] But also the fact that like sometimes they can be chaotic and sometimes it can be very overstimulating.

[00:13:17] There's a lot of people, there's a lot of cameras or the wall of lights.

[00:13:20] And sometimes I will literally be there and my eye will start twitching because there's so many.

[00:13:26] And especially I'll be taking a picture and I'm like please don't let me have like one eye closed while I take this picture because I'm going to be very upset.

[00:13:34] But my eye cannot stop twitching. I don't know what to do.

[00:13:37] Typically my rule of thumb is after the carpet and after the initial check-in.

[00:13:43] After all that I am good. I am free whatever happens on the back end of the night doesn't count. It's fine.

[00:13:50] Like because all the optics are fine and now I can just have a good time sit down.

[00:13:54] I spilled something on my dress. It's fine. We're good.

[00:13:57] Like just not worry about things past quite where I have to worry about them if that makes any sense.

[00:14:02] Right. Yeah. So then it's not putting unnecessary stress on you either.

[00:14:07] You're not sitting there the whole time and thinking about something else when you're supposed to be enjoying the moment too.

[00:14:13] Yeah. Like definitely like I did one of those things too where it's like a lot of the time like sometimes there's an after thing you get like some good food that's like themed to the thing that you just watched.

[00:14:22] There's like the drinks and all that stuff at all the cast and everything.

[00:14:25] And it's just like again prioritizing like having a good time versus like oh like this needs to be some type of way some type of perfect.

[00:14:36] I you can't really control that. So what I can control I do and then I just kind of go OK so I'm in a pretty dress my face is beat and my hair is gel.

[00:14:46] I I'm good. I'm unstoppable. Let's go.

[00:14:50] Let's do it. Let's do it.

[00:14:51] That's that's a great way of looking at things. He kind of just jump right in.

[00:14:56] If I ever think that I will cry.

[00:14:59] You mentioned that you used to work in retail. So what was it like going from a day like a normal day job that anybody could have to something in Hollywood and social media influence there.

[00:15:13] It was really weird because I again I worked in retail for the majority of my adult life and then I got furloughed from my job during 2020 because pandemic.

[00:15:23] And so I got really really bored and didn't really know anybody because at the time I lived in Virginia and I had just moved like not even a year prior.

[00:15:33] So all the people like you wore my coworkers that I didn't see my coworkers because like quarantine.

[00:15:37] Yeah. So like I got really bored and I started talking about movies and TV shows that I like specifically Avatar the first couple of times I made videos and I people started listening and they just started like following and I was like oh OK.

[00:15:57] OK. And then I went back to working in retail because everything opened back up. So I was kind of doing social media while also working in retail and then eventually I did moved California still was working in retail.

[00:16:09] I didn't stop working in retail until two years ago. Yeah. I just I just got here. I just got here.

[00:16:15] And so while like I was still working in retail when I went to Spider-Man like I literally was I still had that job.

[00:16:24] And I just kind of thought about it and I was like well there are some times when I would be working and it would kind of prevent me from doing the stuff that I wanted to do.

[00:16:35] It prevented me from like go anything that I'd been invited to it prevented me from just expanding beyond working in retail.

[00:16:42] And I just didn't I just knew I didn't want to do that for the rest of my life. So I quit home and I just kind of crossed my fingers and I started applying to jobs and I was like I really hope this works.

[00:16:55] And then I got my job as social producer at Paramount in March. It's going to be two years next week actually March of 2022 when I cried on my kitchen floor because I was really happy that I got a job that was your retail.

[00:17:08] And then I've been there since and I also still do my stuff on the side and have just been basically curating my platform since then and going to events and doing all this stuff.

[00:17:23] But yeah I just stopped working in retail two years ago. So yeah.

[00:17:29] It was a big leap of faith to make that change.

[00:17:31] Yeah. I remember calling my parents. But only enough one of the reasons I quit is because I got COVID.

[00:17:39] And then they asked me when I would be back because the girls there were working long hours mind you I had COVID so I couldn't really go back until like not only HR but like the government at the time was like your fear to go back.

[00:17:54] I cried about that called my parents and they were like quit. And I was like I do not have a job lined up and they were like you will figure it out. And I was like I guess I'll figure it out.

[00:18:03] And then I did.

[00:18:05] What an awesome support system you have though because that's a big move.

[00:18:09] I'm really fortunate my husband's grave my parents like they all are very supportive of everything that I do as crazy as it looks the ideas that I have that I'm like you know what I think I'm just going to decide that I want to do this today and they're like OK and then they support me and it's nice to have that because

[00:18:27] it could be worse. I definitely could be doing all this crazy stuff and not have any support so like but I think another reason why I am where I am is because of that support so right.

[00:18:35] You have a network of people who are there to lift you up and really support you. Yeah definitely. That's lovely to see. So you have a very big social media following and a lot of times the bigger your presence is on social media the more trolls you come across the

[00:18:53] more toxicity you see. So how do you personally handle these negative impacts on social media. I won't lie they used to like kind of get to me more especially when I first started doing it because I wasn't used to it.

[00:19:05] Like I wasn't used to having like thousands of people sometimes millions of people like listening to me all at once and it just wasn't. It wasn't something I had any experience with before so it used to hit me a lot harder but nowadays like especially now I'm so I was so quickly blocked somebody or just like the lead

[00:19:26] to my house like you know what I mean. It's not it's not something as little as like oh maybe we have like different opinions or like it's not like things like that like if you're coming at me like insulting my appearance or insulting like something that like has nothing to do with like the task at hand or just like coming into break dishes like you know right

[00:19:45] like I just go okay this is not relevant to the plot and I just don't give them access anymore. And on top of that too I kind of take things from whom they come. So I'm just like okay you only saw like a 30 second video of me and you're making all these assumptions and I will look at their profile and it's like a 20 year old guy from like

[00:20:04] I'm like okay okay so I'm not going to put it into context.

[00:20:09] Why would like and then sometimes too like sometimes when I'm feeling a little exhausted and I'll see something really funny something I can just like personally created sometimes I'll rate the hate comments and I'll just put like two out of ten like points for the audacity but like negative eight for everything else and I'll just do that.

[00:20:28] And typically like I don't really get a lot of hate. I don't know if it's because of that or it's because like I don't know I kind of try to stay in my lane on things that I don't really know that much about so I just kind of don't engage with things that I

[00:20:42] If it's not relevant I'm not going to talk about it you know what I mean.

[00:20:47] But yeah typically whenever I get like comments like that I just kind of make a game out of it because like you'll go crazy if you don't like if you're not laughing or crying.

[00:20:54] So at least that's what I say so I'm just like oh like hey comment cool I literally don't know you you don't know me and you would never say this to me to my face so be gone fool like I kind of have to think about that.

[00:21:06] Think about it like that.

[00:21:08] That is the best advice I think you could give somebody is be gone fool.

[00:21:14] I have control over like I have control over it.

[00:21:17] I could just leave.

[00:21:19] It's the digital version of telling somebody to leave your house like just go.

[00:21:23] Right you don't need to give them the time of day or the satisfaction that you're even listening to what they have to say nine times out of 10 like I'm cool if you're not being like racist sexist homophobic any kind of like

[00:21:34] I'm not being an asshole like you can stay but if you're like being a jerk for no reason it's not relevant to the plot like okay bye like.

[00:21:44] That's I love that on top of these trolls and the negativity that you've had to endure from critics you have also had to deal with a lot of racism and misogyny.

[00:21:54] How do you power through that and cope.

[00:21:56] Again taking a lot of it from the comes and just honestly not taking a lot of things personally unfortunately I've noticed you like sometimes I would try sometimes to like.

[00:22:07] Sway somebody and be like hey maybe don't like think like that and a lot of times it wouldn't work and I would just be wasting my breath and so a lot of times it would sometimes I'll just I'll say a video or I'll make a video about a point and then somebody be like I never thought about it like that.

[00:22:22] And so I kind of focus on what I again what I can change and what I can and I know how I come across I'm I'm thinking pretty self aware.

[00:22:33] And I just kind of have to be confident in the fact that like okay this is me I can't really change that what I can do is do what I know how to do.

[00:22:43] And that's talk about things that I love and share things that I love and share perspectives that I have and experiences that I have that hopefully resonate with other people.

[00:22:52] And if somebody doesn't want to listen to that for whatever reason whether it be my gender my sexuality my race.

[00:23:00] I can't really do anything about that.

[00:23:02] And it's unfortunate I really wish they weren't like that but again I can't really waste the time on it.

[00:23:09] There's a whole group of people that should think I should not exist you know like there's a whole group of people that confidently say like the most hate is things about people like me.

[00:23:18] And it's like I know what I can do I know what is in my capacity and it is in my power to do and I can't really I'm not going to get anything done if I focus on the people that don't want me to get anything done.

[00:23:30] And so I just kind of think about it that way again it was a lot harder when I started because I was confronted with things I had never been confronted with from everywhere because again,

[00:23:41] thousands millions of people had access to you all of a sudden and I would sometimes, you know, have my moments cry about it like not be doing good but I kind of developed this system of like,

[00:23:54] okay, and here's just another jerk. And thank you I'm done with that I'm going to continue to do what I'm doing regardless of what anybody has to say about it, you know.

[00:24:06] Right if your if your energy could be spent you know changing minds that's one thing but like you said some people you're not going to be able to to change my mind it's sad.

[00:24:18] Some people are dedicated to misunderstanding you some people are dedicated to only be right some people are dedicated to just not wanting to hear somebody beyond a very surface level.

[00:24:31] And again, sometimes I'll say something and it'll change somebody's perspective and then sometimes I'll say something and they'll call me a slur like it gets a mixed bag you know that's your comeback.

[00:24:44] Okay, and that's all you had to say like, okay, what what happened to the plot you know what I mean. And I just kind of have to think about it that way. I can't overthink it because if I do that I'll never do anything like how

[00:24:56] do you try to use your platform to elevate the voices of people of color and people in the LGBTQ90 other minorities how do you use your, your platform to try to give a voice to these that aren't heard.

[00:25:13] And oftentimes talking about stuff that they're in like if they're creatives their actors if they are writers if they are some, like, if there's any kind of representation and anything that I'm watching.

[00:25:23] Like I'll make sure to bring attention to that thing and be like hey, if you like this kind of thing try watching this like and it'll just have a wide array of people it's not necessarily, I wouldn't necessarily put it in a category of like, Oh, this is

[00:25:37] the person of color of the week you know I mean like it's not like that it's more so like, I like this thing. It happens to have a lot of people from a lot of different demographics maybe you guys will like this thing.

[00:25:48] And I also think about it with myself and my friends and the people that I associate with, and just making sure that like if there hasn't been cool going on.

[00:25:58] And I just kind of put it on my story and be like hey you like comedy my friends doing this thing and like the city at this time you should go and just showing my support in activity, rather than like words if that makes any sense.

[00:26:12] And just being like hey, I like these things this is my values this is what I want. I would the message I would like other people to see.

[00:26:20] And I'll just present it in a way of like hey, I like this maybe you will too. And that'll hopefully help not have people overthink and be like well this is only like a person like only a Hispanic person thing or only like an agent it's just like no if this is just a thing that people made.

[00:26:41] Hopefully you like it hopefully it broadens your horizons. And it just also associating yourself with like different groups and different people and different like demographics and not just kind of staying in your own echo chamber I think that also really helps, because it also helps

[00:26:56] you see different perspectives and also helps you be like hey, okay I have this influence I have these numbers. Like now I can kind of like put the branch back and like put the rope back and hopefully some like other people can come along, and so that space as well.

[00:27:11] So yeah, I just try to be actively like pushing things that have different voices.

[00:27:19] Right it's using using this following that you've created to basically give a voice to these communities and these sort of projects.

[00:27:28] Yeah, definitely.

[00:27:30] So speaking of your social media following did you ever envision yourself becoming an influencer with this sort of following.

[00:27:38] I was a theater kid. If I envisioned anything I envisioned like that was a chorus kid at theater kid did band for like three years I was I was always a kid that like wanted to perform in some capacity.

[00:27:49] So I just always wanted to like perform and share things and tell stories to an audience.

[00:27:57] I wasn't sitting at home at like 12 be like my dream is to be an influencer like that wasn't right.

[00:28:02] And also because I was a really a thing when I was again so like I just kind of was thinking about it that way.

[00:28:08] It just didn't exist.

[00:28:10] Yeah, and so like the opportunity just kind of presents itself again during the pandemic and just the kind of surprise that like oh I'm talking and people are actually listening and they want me to talk more about things that I like.

[00:28:22] Oh this is great.

[00:28:26] I can do this for days.

[00:28:28] I can be a nerd and just talk about like the stuff I really like and people will just be like hey could you do that again and it's like yeah I can.

[00:28:35] So like, it's great. It's just it's a cool little thing I kind of tripped and fell into.

[00:28:41] I definitely want to like kind of branch out I love to write so I wanted to like do writing again make things Hell Stories.

[00:28:49] And so this is the kind of a nice little avenue to have like okay I already know how to like keep an audience.

[00:28:57] So why not use that skill set for other things and I'm really excited to see like where it goes.

[00:29:03] Well excited to see too.

[00:29:05] I'm going to follow you along and see where you go.

[00:29:07] I love this.

[00:29:08] So you mentioned that you know you were theater kid and all that.

[00:29:12] So in college you mentioned you studied animation.

[00:29:15] Yeah I have a BFA in media arts animation.

[00:29:18] Technically it's fine arts but it's with the focus of media arts animation and I actually drew for most of my life too.

[00:29:25] I was an artist and I did digital painting.

[00:29:27] I did graphite charcoal pieces stuff like that.

[00:29:31] If you scroll all the way to like the old in times of my Instagram page I have some of my work there.

[00:29:37] I again was very inspired by things like Avatar just movies TV shows again creating things making stories making all these different worlds and I was like oh I originally was like I want to be a concept artist.

[00:29:49] So I went to school for it got my BFA then I moved and it was really hard to find a job and on top of that after moving shortly after that a pandemic happened.

[00:30:01] So then you just kind of changed and life just kind of went in different directions and now I'm here.

[00:30:07] So like yeah.

[00:30:09] Right you never know when you embark on something where you're going to end up.

[00:30:14] Yeah.

[00:30:15] So when you are critiquing the fandoms that you love like Avatar for instance what are the lines you walk.

[00:30:23] Like does it make it hard for you to critique something that you love or do you have any issues trying to stay more professional or more fangirling.

[00:30:32] That's one thing that with the balance of doing this for a job and also doing it because I love it.

[00:30:38] One thing I finally enough learned from Monica on is but not cruel in when it comes to talking about things because at the end of the day like no matter what the quality is of something and no matter what happened a lot of people work on it.

[00:30:50] And a lot of people probably also really love it and they also just like wanted to share it with people and like who am I to like crap on somebody's like months long worth of work.

[00:31:01] You know what I mean.

[00:31:02] And so when it comes to that where it's like I have a lot of opinions on a lot.

[00:31:07] He's okay like and I don't love everything either and I don't spies everything either but when it comes to things that I love then like critiquing things that I love.

[00:31:17] I exist in the middle of like I love to like things and I love to immerse myself in things and have a good time and be entertained.

[00:31:25] And if the baseline of that is met you know pretty much like it whether or not I fall in love with something is a different story.

[00:31:31] That's a lot of different factors as well.

[00:31:33] And if something is just like maybe functionally not great or like could have been done better or story wise was a little bit off like I'll acknowledge that too.

[00:31:41] And I think it's important to critique things that we love because it helps keep us from existing in an echo chamber and be like it shows us how to make things better and how to improve things and how to make stories better

[00:31:56] and storytelling better and just overall of all the everything and making more art out of the art that we already have.

[00:32:04] And so I don't think it's a bad thing to critique things.

[00:32:07] I think it's the opposite.

[00:32:08] I think things shouldn't be looked at critically and people should think and people should like use their brains when they consume something because you'd be surprised at what you can find from it, you know.

[00:32:20] And I don't agree with the fact of like oh it's just a movie or it's just like kids TV show or it's just a book.

[00:32:28] It's obviously it's not real.

[00:32:30] It's fake but it still comes from someone and still comes from a lot of people and it still comes from a place of humanity.

[00:32:37] And I think there's value in that.

[00:32:38] I think that people want to tell stories for a reason and a lot of stories have their place whether you like them or not.

[00:32:45] And there's plenty of genres I don't like.

[00:32:47] There's plenty of things I'd rather not read or rather not watch but I think they still have a right to exist in the capacity that they do.

[00:32:55] And I think you can also be a fan while also critiquing something and not being so like enamored by it that you can't see any flaws ever.

[00:33:06] So that's pretty much how I do things.

[00:33:08] I just kind of look at things honestly not cruelty and also know that it deserves to kind of exist in whatever capacity that exists.

[00:33:17] Right.

[00:33:18] Yeah, it's art.

[00:33:19] It's somebody's art.

[00:33:20] So there's a way to I would think there's a way to critique like you said honesty not cruelty.

[00:33:27] I really like that the way you put that.

[00:33:29] Yeah, that was Monica.

[00:33:30] So shout out to Monica.

[00:33:32] That was a really good saying Monica.

[00:33:35] How has working in the industry changed the way you view some of your favorite fandoms?

[00:33:40] You get very surprised at like how little people know about how things are made.

[00:33:44] That's one thing that I've had to grapple with is that public doesn't really know just how much goes into making movies and TV shows and producing these things.

[00:33:55] And so sometimes I'll see a take room like but you there.

[00:33:58] Like, you know what I mean?

[00:33:59] Things that I would have otherwise not thought about.

[00:34:02] I have a lot more grace for it because I've been in the sauce and I can see what a production schedule looks like.

[00:34:09] And what it's like when you only have 10 minutes to do something.

[00:34:12] It was like when you're just kind of like scrambling in the world on fire and it's just like a bunch of people trying to make something really cool, but they're all really stressed out and they haven't eaten since that morning.

[00:34:21] Like it's just it's something that you kind of have to be there to see.

[00:34:25] I can tell very easily like who hasn't worked on something and where like their where things are coming from when it comes to that.

[00:34:35] And again, too, like everybody has the right to say whatever they want.

[00:34:39] You know, like you can if you have access to the Internet and a phone you can say whatever you want.

[00:34:43] You know what I mean?

[00:34:44] But I think it's changed the way that I interact with fandom is that I don't really interact with fandom as much as I did before because it's like you have a different relationship.

[00:34:55] And I still like love fandom culture and I still engage with it and I still am a fan myself.

[00:35:00] And I still consume a lot of like things that are come from fandom culture like cosplay and like go into conventions and stuff and just like enjoying it that way.

[00:35:10] But as far as like certain things where I'm like, oh, since I know how that actually is, I'm not going to.

[00:35:18] It's a different relationship, you know?

[00:35:21] So it's a more I wouldn't say a more technical relationship, but I guess like a more a different understanding of it.

[00:35:27] And it makes me appreciate it in a different way and I really also love the way that I have like it's taken a lot to kind of kind of separate it too.

[00:35:40] Where it's like, OK, this is time to just be a consumer and just consume something that I like.

[00:35:45] And this is the time to be critical and just not get those wires crossed too much so that I can actually still enjoy that.

[00:35:53] So like you just kind of have to reel yourself back in and also kind of drown out what you know is not the case.

[00:36:01] But yeah, it's changed but I'm also still like a massive fan of things.

[00:36:06] Like I still will go to something and be like, here.

[00:36:09] Yeah.

[00:36:10] Right. There's a balance to be found.

[00:36:12] You can be a fan girl and a professional at the same time.

[00:36:14] Definitely, definitely.

[00:36:16] What do you wish people knew about being an influencer in this industry?

[00:36:21] Oh, I will say it is not the most difficult job I've ever done.

[00:36:26] Again, I worked in the service industry.

[00:36:28] Yeah.

[00:36:29] I worked with people with people in a different capacity and a capacity that I don't really want to do again.

[00:36:34] But I would say though it is not for the faint of heart.

[00:36:37] Again, you kind of have to create a filing cabinet of your life because it's a very public job.

[00:36:45] It's a very in-your-face job.

[00:36:47] It's a very unconventional job that you can't really clock out of the same way that you kind of night decides.

[00:36:53] I work from home a lot.

[00:36:55] I have my phone on me which is my main thing that I've worked on all the time.

[00:37:00] You have to make conscious decisions to unplug from that and just be like a person for a bit.

[00:37:07] Touch grass as crazy as it sounds.

[00:37:10] Please go outside. Please touch grass.

[00:37:12] Please communicate with people that are not through a phone.

[00:37:15] That's the best advice I can give somebody.

[00:37:18] And that's also just, it keeps you sane because I don't think that you're supposed to see everything all the time constantly at a constant flow.

[00:37:27] You can get into a scenario where you're stimulating.

[00:37:29] You can get inside your head.

[00:37:31] Your self-esteem can definitely take a hit.

[00:37:33] It's a lot to not only watch yourself over and over and over and over and over again.

[00:37:40] Listen to yourself speak over and over again.

[00:37:42] Look at your own face all the time for hours over and over again because you're editing and filming.

[00:37:48] You spend a lot of time with yourself and a lot of time with just everyone and eyes looking at you all the time.

[00:37:56] But I think one of the things also is that you really have to love it and you really have to really want to say something.

[00:38:09] It makes it worth it when something good comes out of all of it.

[00:38:12] When you change somebody's perspective or when you are able to do something you've always wanted to do

[00:38:18] or go somewhere or meet somebody you've always wanted to be.

[00:38:21] Those moments where I'm like, actually life doesn't suck and this is great.

[00:38:25] It's a lot to give and take.

[00:38:27] You give a lot of yourself and you have to choose which parts of yourself to give.

[00:38:32] It can get difficult and it can get challenging but at the end of the day I don't really think I'd want to do anything else.

[00:38:38] I really do love the entertainment industry.

[00:38:40] I love media.

[00:38:41] I love telling stories and I love being around creative people.

[00:38:44] I think you just really have to love it.

[00:38:48] And I think on that note that's a beautiful way to wrap it all up today.

[00:38:53] So thank you very much Amanda.

[00:38:55] I appreciate you taking your time and your energy to talk to me today.

[00:38:59] Thank you so much for having me.

[00:39:01] Like I've always loved talking about like just being a merited enterprise.

[00:39:17] you